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Online: Yesterday
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Rose
- Age:
- 33
- City:
- Ashwaubenon
- Hair:
- Pink
- Relation Type:
- Seeking study group wgroup
- Seeking:
- Seeking adult dating
- Relationship Status:
- Married
-
About
Haunted by Unasked Questions m4w As we drove to what would be our final lunch on our final day together, laughing and enjoying ourselves, you turned to me with the gentle smile and sparkling eyes that I adored, and said "You're really important to me." I should have asked "How so?," so that I could have perhaps finally understood my place in your life. Had I asked and then understood, my expectations would have been different and I could have tried to shield myself. Instead, yearning to emotionally join you, I responded by imparting to you that I felt the same, to which you replied, with the perfect balance of playfulness and intense feeling that is your hallmark, "I know." "Somehow, I feel like I'm supposed to end up with you." I should have asked "Why do you feel that way?," for the insight that would have resulted, for the gauge it would have furnished. But I didn't. I was too eager to affirm your feeling by reciprocating with my own. But I should have asked why. That feeling's fragility might then have been exposed, and I wouldn't have been so shocked that it influenced you so little. Later, on your couch, as we sat close together by the light of the flickering candles helping you prepare for a future we would ultimately not share, with a subtle, sweet smile on your lips, you gazed at me. Several times, I turned toward you and smiled. What were you thinking and feeling? I wanted to know. But not wanting to disrupt the gaze of those beautiful, scintillating eyes, with the comparative crudity of words, I didn't ask. But I should have. Had I, a moment could have been created that would have been remembered with bliss rather than regret, one that would have been at the beginning of something rather than at the end. Our last conversation was 7 months ago. Like always, it was fun, fulfilling, and affectionate. The next day, what we were building was consumed by a conflagration as predictable as it was destructive. We could have escaped together, but that was not your choice. Had I asked the unasked questions that still haunt me, perhaps I wouldn't have been so surprised. Perhaps, knowing it didn't truly exist, I wouldn't now have a deeply missed connection.
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