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Sometimes I still can't believe
Sometimes I still can't believe what happened. Can't believe how and reckless we were. And while I don't miss you in a romantic sense, it is hard not to miss you when I look into your eyes everyday. The big beautiful eyes of our son, the son you will never know. The son who for a brief moment was in the very same room as you and you made no effort to even ask me to see him. I have gone through so much on my own and every day I try so hard to be strong but he is a little clone of you and I can't believe I set him up in a life where he will never know half of his biological family. Why is whatever you have going on in your life so much more important than this sweet little boy? Why would you rather have everything but your own flesh and ? No we did not plan this but he is the light in my world every single day. I push harder and harder to succeed every day because of him. And you know if you were present in his life, I would never ask anything of you but for you to give him your love. I'm not a demanding person and maybe I should have been for his sake.. You wanted an abortion but I would have never done that. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to but I feel as if I will forever be in a state of shock, sadness, even anger. He deserves to know his family but this is just how it is. Life is shitty sometimes, huh? Well have fun living up the days of your youth but I know that eventually this will haunt you and it will be too late. I wish you only good things but I still can't believe how much you have hurt us both. Some days I just need to let it all out, but I can't reach out to you and tell you these things because they will fall on deaf ears, I am certain. Maybe you will see it here and it will strike a nerve. Anyway, hope you have a great birthday and a wonderful holiday season because despite what has transpired between us, I know you are a good person who deserves good things. I hope you find what you want in life. --A.
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ANYONE WANNA HANG OUT? I'M BORED AND NEED SOME FRIENDS MAYBE A LITTLE MORE LOL HIT ME UP IF YOU ARE INTERESTED. HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON. NOBODY OVER 35 PLEASE AND PUT YOUR FAVORITE COLOR IN THE SUBJECT LINE SO I KNOW YOUR NOT A BOT.
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Next time I'm going to ask you out. Why wait? I'm not in the greatest shape at the moment and would like to increase my odds by my next cut. Chances are you're taken anyways. You're just so beautiful and sweet to me every time. Sorry about the alarms :/
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