Looking for luvly girl Housewives seeking sex tonight Pilgrim Kentucky Doing my best without you I have never really had the opportunity to tell you things I have realized in my time here. We are all living in the world that we create through are actions. We think the evil that others can do, and do on a daily basis will never hurt us but it does. Turning a blind eye always made me feel a slight . Over the years it's turned into something I don't even feel anymore, and when I hear the whip louder than ever before. I feel nothing now. Except when I look around at the world I help create by doing or saying nothing, when I see others get hurt some way, that live in the world I helped create by doing or saying nothing. That's when I feel guilty most days. How was I supposed to know what to do? I never claimed to be smart, even thought most of my life I was stupid, and even told so not directly but through with special classes? Evil has been alive so much longer than me and will be here long after I have left this world. I am here for just a short time, only human, so I spend alot of days thinking about how I can be a better person, in any way starting with small things, that I can do that hoping that even a small dose of something good will cure this of thinking in my head. We didn't mix well because you didn't really know me. You never did, and your not capable of understanding me. Material things and vanity are just way to important to you. We are way to different. I put others in front of my own needs. Like a Captain helping people into life boats on a sinking ship. Even if that means going down with the ship. I am of good till the end. I may stumble of course as I am only human. I am always trying to ask for forgiveness when I do. I have only realized lately how amazing this life really is. We have these incredible bodies that can do so much. Brains that can function even when we are not really thinking. We can love others. Have friendships. Share experiences and realize we are not really all that different we all make the same mistakes. When we help others it's more like we are helping ourselves, learning so much about who we really are as people it's a circle just like everything else, seasons, days. Cold to hot. Hot to cold. Day to night. Night to day. How things that offer a quick fix are just things that have long term side affects. You might feel great eating that pizza and anything else that tasted good when your eating it. But when your over weight and about life that's the draw back, the fine print. The devil is always in the details. How saying nothing at all or doing nothing at all most times puts the of your life in the hands of others. These people may love you with all their hearts, but it's not there job to tell you how to live your life. They are struggling with alot in there own ways. It's important to remember that you are just figuring out this life as best as you can. It doesn't come with a instruction manual. At times we often think we are doing are best. This is not true. It's like running a marathon and feeling like you having nothing left. But you reach down and pick up those last few miles when you think you are literally dying. We can always do better there is always more to give to others, and to ourselves in something even as simple as a hard day's work. You know about my jobs of course I work all the time, everybody does now. I have realized if I stop just for a second and think about my actions at my job, plan my days to perfection that I walk through it like it's nothing, but it is still alot of work everyday all day, and alot of planning. When people say hard work, they don't mean just hard for some people. They mean doesn't matter who you are, hard motha fuckin work!!! I am grateful for my experiences with you though. You have helped me with so many things. Thank you. With life I know it's unfair. I have seen the world around me now, it is injustice and most of the time a very bad place. Because material things have become false idols. Money has become somewhat of a . But not really. We live in a world that has been created before we set foot in it. Before are parents set foot in it. It's a greedy hateful world that is here. That is just the world though it is not us. So be one of the few good people in it. Be , be special and one of a kind instead of like the millions of greedy before you, that is how you will stand out forever and in the very best of ways. It takes a while to understand are lives and the truest meaning of them. We might feel guilty for not being strong enough to have seen the signs sooner. Not have read the warning before use. Truth is with life there is often times only yourself and the life you lead, as well as the good deeds of it. "You" don't really want to help others. I know now you just did it to get in my pants. You also are to wrapped up in material things. You know how us girls like a guy who is selfless, couragous, and truly good, but has a tough side. We just want him to be able to be the strongest and able to kick butts when he needs to, to protect us, we want to feel safe in all ways. Well sometimes a scare is good lol. I just found myself seeing that you are just way to evil for me. I need a good guy who has a bad boy side who can keep it in check. He is in control of it. That side of you is in control of you. Beautiful women seeking sex Dickson